It's now have been 7 days since the school session started.
I'm not quite excited to be a Form 4 student. Actually, i don't know why did i feel like nothing going on.
Like i got the feeling that this all are not going to be work this year. I mean, i'm far apart from my friends.
We got different classes. At First, i really can't accept the fact that we're all not in the same situation anymore.
But,as the time and days goes by.. now i take it all with my heart open. I let myself to think positively.
ONE THING that still bothering me until today. and that's is why i'm writing it here. It's keep making me confused every time i think about it.Recently, i applied to a school....... It's a school where all smartass students study. *Maktab Rendah Sains Mara (MRSM) that's the name. Today,i've sent my application to the head quarters of MARA. I've sent it! yes! i know i've sent it. There's no way to turn my head back. And yet, I don't know if i accepted to study at MRSM or what.. But AS IF i got accepted,things that worrying me are I really don't want to leave my family.Still,a part of my heart says I should go. It's better to study boarding than to stuck in here forever.Leave SMK Kidurong for now. There's nothing for you at here.HMPPPPPPHHHHHH..I am reluctantly to leave everything here. (ohhh,i'm crying.damn) Leave my family and friends.First, if i'm not around anymore.. the saddest one is definitely my mother. She'll be crying all the times if i go study there.She said to me before that she don't want me to go,after my older sister leaved us for study at Kuching.She said that there's no one will accompany her anymore if i go to Kuching too. I know how she feels,because i feel the same as her. I'll be alone and there's gonna be no more a person called mom yelling and calling my name with the sweetest sound.The second person is confirmed to be my brother. Although he's acting all cool, but inside he still have that 12 years old kid feelings. Feeling alone by himself and no one plays with him. There's will be no more me argued and fighting with him.. No more me accompany him for the school day. No more me compete against him to take food and rice. No more me to argue with him over the remote control.No more me to yelling at him for using my laptop to play games for hours. Awwwww,. that's will be a hard time for him to go through the day all by himself.Thirdly,of course that will be my dad. He's a good father.really.i mean it. even though he always can't fetch me at school but he tried his best. And,it will be all his responsibility for taking care and giving me money if i study there.I know, I rely on him a lot. I know i can't redeem all the goodness he's been doing. and last place goes to my friends obviously. They all will be leave behind and stuck at Smk Kidurong until they graduated their high school. I'll be missing them a lot. Miss all the time that we all share together. sweet and bad memories. happy and tears. all the laughters.i'm so gonna missed all that. But,being a person we must go on and never look back. IT'S ALL ABOUT MY HEART.I want seek for the bright future. An then,i'll be catching the starlet of my life. IT IS MY DREAM.
